In 1992, a former Communist, he found himself detailed by the Suddeutsche Magazin to write an article about Cardinal Ratzinger, obviously one of the most hated men in the world. A first-class subject: but who is he, actually; What makes him the way he is? He found the following in one of the German dailies, back when he was Archbishop of Munich: ‘Joseph Ratzinger has the merit of all great persons. They cannot be classed or categorized. They are themselves’. This seems to have guided him, rather than the knee-jerk nicknames (such as ‘PanzerKardinal’) of the popular mythology.

His method, apart from amassing all the writings by and about Ratzinger, relied on interviews with friends, acquaintances and colleagues, and this can make for interesting and at times hilarious reading.

A prophetic voice

He soon he came to the conclusion that Ratzinger seemed to be genuinely concerned for the world, and that his basic assumption was that the message of Jesus makes this world more comprehensible and makes life clearer and more uncomplicated. Again and again he noted that Ratzinger’s prognoses were prophetic and stimulating, even Orwellian, particularly his insight that the future, rather than the past, was now providing our model for behaviour – man was detached from the ground beneath his feet today, hostage to whatever science might come up with tomorrow.

The real Ratzinger

But what was he like? Some claimed that he was hard to get to know, that he didn’t talk to anyone – (‘we’ll see about that’, Seewald remarks). Protestant friends say that Ratzinger had stood as godfather for their children, but some colleagues seemed to want to psychoanalyse him, suggesting that he had some unresolved psychological problems from his childhood, etc; others like Hans Küng and Eugen Drewermann put his working down to a hunger for power or control. Many of the accusations just didn’t stand up for Seewald, who had just checked out Ratzinger’s writings and actions to an unprecedented degree.

Among the interviews, many of which are a model of giving someone enough rope to hang himself (I recommend the Drewermann one for anyone who thinks that theology is boring), the one that left a mark was that of Father Niegel, a country parish priest who studied with Ratzinger, and whose parting words were ‘You know, he has simply never said anything stupid.’

A novel look at the Pope

The book is framed as a series of flashbacks as he stands in St Peter’s Square in April 2005 waiting for the new Pope. It ranges from his own early frustrated attempts to get to interview Ratzinger, the weekends they spent at Montecassino and Frascati doing interviews for two of his books, and the effect this had on his own thinking and faith; eventually he came back to the Church, but discreetly, to avoid the suspicion that it might be a way of promoting the books.

A story which may give a flavour of the book’s style is the question asked of the Cardinal at the Munich launch of Salt of the Earth in 1997: What does the Pope think about the book? Ratzinger replied that he couldn’t presume to say but that when Pope John Paul had been reading it in hospital during his convalescence and his secretary tried to put his nose into it His Holiness told him to buy his own copy!

Many books about Pope Benedict try to understand him from an ecclesiastical standpoint; it is refreshing to find someone from a secular background being captivated by Joseph Ratzinger’s openness and ability to deal with often hostile questions, with a concern for the person asking them, and the thousands he represents. It is also nice to know, as he puts it, that twenty-four hours after the new Pope was elected, ‘our two books were number one and number two on the best-seller lists. That seemed only right to me.’ I recommend this book as well.♦

A life-changing conversation

One day in the early twentieth century a young woman of Jewish stock was walking around the city of Frankfurt as a tourist. Years later she wrote of that visit:

We went into the cathedral for a few moments, and as we stood there in respectful silence, a woman came in with her shopping basket and knelt down in one of the pews to say a short prayer. That was something completely new to me. In the synagogue, as in the Protestant churches I had visited, people only went in at the time of the service. But here was someone coming into the empty church in the middle of a day’s work as if to talk with a friend. I have never been able to forget that.

As it turned out this quite commonplace event was to have a life-changing impact on Edith Stein, convert to Catholicism, Carmelite nun, outstanding intellectual and martyr of Auschwitz, whom we now venerate as St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, Patroness of Europe. Clearly on that day in Frankfurt Cathedral the Eucharistic Lord spoke to two women, the woman with her shopping and the young researcher who had ventured in.

Eucharistic adoration, be it in the form of a short visit to the Blessed Sacrament, a reverent genuflection or an extended period of prayer during Exposition is always a real conversation between God and man. Adoration, which is undergoing something of a ‘springtime’ throughout the Church and especially among young people, is an essential part of every Eucharistic Congress. Adoration is also at the heart of the pontificate and message of Benedict XVI.

Let us look briefly at a few aspects of the ineffable conversation which is Eucharistic adoration, drawing on the teaching of the Holy Father.

A conversation begun by God

Eucharistic adoration is a conversation initiated by God. In the sacred Host, God is the ‘beloved … gazing in at the windows, looking through the lattice’ (Song 2:9), the father who eagerly spies his son from a distance (cf. Lk 15:20), the Lord who stands at the door and knocks, all the while respecting our freedom (cf. Rev 3:20). It is up to us to accept the invitation. The holy Eucharist is the sacramental presence of God who ‘first loved us’ (cf. 1 Jn 4:19). Indeed, ‘in this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins.’ (1 Jn 4:10).

We tend to think that the effort is all our own. ‘After all’, we think, ‘it is I who make the effort to go and visit the church, or to spend some time in the adoration chapel.’ But the opposite is the case. The reality is that we find ourselves before our Lord only because he has called us there and given us the grace to accept his invitation. As St Josemaría writes in The Way (n. 537), ‘When you approach the Tabernacle remember that he has been awaiting you for twenty centuries.’

The reality is that Christ has ‘earnestly desired’ (cf. Lk 22:15) to be present in the Eucharist. His patience and accessibility when he is reserved or exposed is the proof that he has indeed loved us ‘to the end’ (cf. Jn 13:1). The Lord truly ‘thirsts’ for us (cf. Jn 19:28). ‘In the sacred Host, he is present, the true treasure, always waiting for us’ (Benedict XVI, Homily, September 11, 2006).

A conversation that makes us free

Benedict XVI often talks of the importance of kneeling in Christian prayer. He has even pointed out that at times the devil is represented as having no knees since he worships no one but himself. There is perhaps a certain suspicion lurking in the contemporary mind that kneeling before the Eucharist is in some way demeaning or servile. But reflection on what the Eucharist is, or rather on Who is present in the Blessed Sacrament can dispel these doubts.

As the Holy Father teaches: Without the God-with-us, the God who is close, how can we stand up to the pilgrimage through life, either on our own or as society and the family of peoples? The Eucharist is the Sacrament of the God who does not leave us alone on the journey but stays at our side and shows us the way.… Adoring the God of Jesus Christ, who out of love made himself bread broken, is the most effective and radical remedy against the idolatry of the past and of the present. Kneeling before the Eucharist is a profession of freedom: those who bow to Jesus cannot and must not prostrate themselves before any earthly authority, however powerful. We Christians kneel only before God or before the Most Blessed Sacrament because we know and believe that the one true God is present in it, the God who created the world and so loved it that he gave his Only Begotten Son (cf. Jn 3: 16). We prostrate ourselves before a God who first bent over man like the Good Samaritan to assist him and restore his life, and who knelt before us to wash our dirty feet. Adoring the Body of Christ, means believing that there, in that piece of Bread, Christ is really there, and gives true sense to life, to the immense universe as to the smallest creature, to the whole of human history as to the most brief existence’ (Homily [Corpus Christi], May 22, 2008).

Freedom comes only from the truth (cf. Jn 8:32), the truth about God and about ourselves. ‘We live on Truth. This Truth is a Person: he speaks to us and we speak to him,’ says the Holy Father (Homily, December 10, 2006). This is why Adoration is not just an optional devotion. Rather, ‘eucharistic adoration is an essential way of being with the Lord’ (Benedict XVI, Homily, September 11, 2006). Yes indeed, ‘the whole Church and … the world … would be lost without the Real Presence of Christ’ (Benedict XVI, Audience, June 24, 2009).

A conversation leading to communion

Like all authentic conversation Eucharistic adoration is leading somewhere. Ultimately the goal is Holy Communion, the most intimate union possible with Christ in this life. Benedict XVI constantly stresses the intrinsic continuity between adoration and reception of the Eucharist and participation in the Eucharistic Sacrifice.

Indeed, an intrinsic connection exists between celebration and adoration. In fact, Holy Mass is in itself the Church’s greatest act of adoration: ‘No one eats of this flesh’, as St Augustine writes, ‘without having first adored it’ (Enarr. in Ps. 98,9: CCL XXXIX, 1385). Adoration outside Holy Mass prolongs and intensifies what has taken place in the liturgical celebration and makes a true and profound reception of Christ possible (Angelus, June 10, 2007).

This is an important point. Eucharistic adoration is not simply a ‘devotional’ exercise unconnected with, much less to be opposed to, the Mass or Commu-nion. Nor is it a relic of a supposedly ‘pre-conciliar’ piety. As the Holy Father explained during his second pastoral visit to his homeland: ‘Only by adoring this presence do we learn how to receive him properly – we learn the reality of communion, we learn the Eucharistic celebration from the inside’ (Homily, [Altötting, Germany], 11 September 2006).

A conversation through the Mother

The Eucharist, the Mystery that constitutes the heart of the Church’ (Benedict XVI, Homily [Corpus Christi], June 7, 2007) leads us to the heart of God where we always find understanding, consolation and unconditional love. In this month of May, the last month of preparation for IEC 2012, we could make our own the following prayer of the Holy Father:

May the Virgin Mary, the Woman of the Eucharist, introduce us into the secret of true adoration. Her humble and simple heart was ever pondering the mystery of Jesus, in whom she adored the presence of God and of his redeeming love. May faith in the Eucharistic Mystery, joy in participating in Holy Mass, especially on Sundays, and enthusiasm in witnessing to Christ’s immense love grow throughout the Church through her intercession’ (Angelus, June 10, 2007).♦

As much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I panic. I would like to pretend that I am always cool, calm and collected with a super-easygoing attitude but it’s just a facade. I panic and I worry. At the minute, I am in a self-induced flurry of panic, that comes from having a million and one things to do in a relatively short space of time, where everything becomes a priority and is competing for next place on my to-do list, and my ‘put first things first’ habit à la Stephen Covey has gone right out the window. But alas, this article is not about how one prioritises and finds peace and calm in the midst of chaos. At the minute I would be a hypocrite to try and offer some words of wisdom on that. Rather this is about why I happen to be in a flurry in the first place!

IFFD Conference in LA

Next week, at the beginning of May, my husband and I, along with our tiny tot will travel to Los Angeles in California to attend a Family Enrichment Leadership conference which has been organised by the International Federation for Family Development (IFFD). It is a fantastic opportunity and one which I am looking forward to relishing but at the minute, my thoughts are caught up with packing, travel first aid kits and wondering whether or not I should buy a replacement teddy in case tiny tot’s current favourite happens to go walkies somewhere between here and L.A.

The opportunity to attend the conference has come from our participation in a Family Enrichment Course which the IFFD provides throughout the world. The mission of the IFFD is this: to help families around the world build stronger and happier relationships. It may not sound terribly exciting but it is absolutely vital. The purpose of the Family Enrichment courses is very simple: to help participants ʻenrichʼ their own personal family life in every way possible. These courses are taking place in various locations around Ireland and are proving themselves to be both needed and valuable.

Human virtues in the home

Despite the chaos of getting organised to leave, I have tried to reflect a little on what lies ahead in the few quiet minutes of my day, in order to prepare and get the most out of the conference. In many respects, I have a lot to learn when it comes to creating a harmonious family life. We have only been married a few short years. Many families will have advice, suggestions and opinions from which we can learn. When I was younger, I unknowingly relied on my parents to create the security and warm atmosphere we lived in. I grew to see the importance of this as I got older but it’s only now that I am a wife and mother myself that I realise just how necessary it is. There is a wonderful homily by St Josemaria in his book Friends of God about human virtues, which is well worth reading again and again. We can be tempted to think that we need to practise these human virtues for the benefit of offering good manners and hospitality only to those who are invited into our home from outside. But they are even more necessary for those we live with, those who are literally breathing the same air as us day after day! Our family life is where children are moulded and shaped into the adults they will eventually become. As a parent, I want my children to be the kind of people who are assets to society. Along with my husband, I have to take responsibility for that and ensure that our family home is the first place where human virtues are lived and practised.

5 point plan

Since taking part in the Family Enrichment course, I have come across a few things that have helped our family life immensely. They are not super-sophisticated or complicated. The very opposite in fact. The simplest things however, can very often be the hardest but if practised and lived to the best of our ability, they can have an enormously positive effect.

1. A good sense of humour. Without meaning to sound like a singles advert, this is an absolute essential. There will be days when things just do not work out no matter how much you plan, how hard you try or how much you do. Sometimes life can just take a completely different direction. If you rebel by letting your mood sink into a sour mood, youʼll suffer and so will everyone else. It just isnʼt worth it.

2. Humility. Nothing like a good dose of family life to help you realise that you are not an island. Nor to discover that you are not perfect! Having the humility to be able to say we were wrong when we were, or accept that we need others is not an admission of weakness but rather the strengthening of the ties that hold a family together.

3. A plan. I have found so far in my experience of marriage and family that although our plans don’t always go accordingly (see point 1), they certainly do help! It helps to add structure to a day so time isn’t wasted wondering what should be done next. Time is a gift and when I have a plan, the world is a much smoother place!

4. Respect for your marriage. When husband and wife are working in harmony, so are the babies and children that come about as a result of their parents’ love and commitment.
The best gift we can give our children is love for our spouse. Which means husbands should honour and cherish their wives and wives should respect and serve their husbands. I am well aware that the idea of a women ʻservingʼ her husband has negative connotations in some definitions of femin-ism. However, one very famous Man once said that He came not to be served but to serve. If it’s good enough for Him, I reckon I can at least give it a try.

5. Prayer. A family that prays together stays together or so I have heard. I’m sure many families have had the pain of seeing family members drift away from faith in God and love for the Church, despite many hours of prayer. We do not know, however the difference our prayers can make and what plan God has for everyone, so because of that I’ll certainly keep it in my list.

I know that at this present moment in time what with my current travelling hysteria, I am most likely flying in the face of my very own suggestions! No doubt, there will be many more lessons to learn along the way as situations and times change, but that makes me realise that a family is a place where we are constantly learning both about ourselves and each other. That kind of learning truly is lifelong.♦

On several occasions, Catholic parents have approached me about how to talk to their heterosexual teenagers about homosexuality. Many teenagers are very accepting of the homosexual orientation; they think it is just as natural as a heterosexual orientation.

They think that permitting homosexual ‘marriages’ is a matter of civil rights, that sexual orientation is like skin color: It is wrong to use either to discriminate against people. And, being teenagers, they are very sure that they are right.

I believe the willingness to approve of homosexual unions derives from two sources: a faulty understanding of sexuality and compassion for those who are attracted sexually to members of their own sex.

Confused thinking about sex

It is very difficult for anyone in our culture, let alone teenagers, to have a correct view of sexuality. It is a rare TV show or movie that does not feature some form of sexual immorality as perfectly acceptable. Homosexual relations are now featured regularly on TV and in film – and always with approval. When young people are inundated with such impressions, it is very difficult for them to believe that sexual intercourse is moral only between heterosexuals who are married. If heterosexuals can engage in non-procreative, uncommitted sex, why can’t those with homosexual appetites? And why should we forbid marriage to them if they believe making a lifetime commitment is fitting for the love they feel for each other? (And this at a time when more and more heterosexuals are claiming that marriage is not necessary for expressing a lifetime commitment?! It is hard not to think that the clamor for same-sex unions is more about acceptance than about marriage licenses.)

Teaching moments

With the ubiquity of media attention given to same-sex unions, parents will not lack teaching moments. Setting the stage is a good idea. Assure your teenagers that you think that being ordered in respect to sexuality is difficult for everyone; indeed, in our culture, most heterosexuals are out-of-control sexually. Tell them you would be as reluctant to allow a cohabiting couple to share a bedroom in your home as you would be to allow a homosexual couple to do so. But that, generally, both would be welcome at your dinner table. Mention that you appreciate the dignity and gifts of all human beings; they are all beloved children of God.

Inform them how the acceptance of homosexual relations is relatively new and that there has been a concerted campaign by the media to mainstream acceptance of homosexuality. Call teens’ attention to the fact that few people know many of the facts about homosexuality. Although the causes of a homosexual orientation are various, it is well established that many males who experience homosexual attractions were abused sexually by males or felt rejected by their fathers. Many lesbians were abused by males and no longer trust males. If one’s desire for sexual intimacy with a same-sex partner can be traced to abuse or the perception of rejection, how natural and healthy can it be?

The homosexual lifestyle

Although heterosexuals have increased their propensity for having multiple sexual partners, the average homosexual male has hundreds of partners in his lifetime – and a significant number with anonymous partners; they are looking not so much for ‘Mr Right’ as ‘Mr Right Now.’ Fidelity among gays is almost nonexistent; when they say they have been faithful to their partner, they generally mean they have not brought another partner home, but will readily admit to having had other sexual partners. (See An Open Secret: The Truth About Male Homosexuals by Joseph Nicolosi online.) Indeed, Dan Savage, a gay advice columnist, recommends that heterosexuals should learn from what he calls the ‘American gay lifestyle,’ which includes pornography, fetishes and ‘flexibility’ in regard to fidelity.

Much of the activity in which gays engage, unfortunately, can only be judged to be degrading. It is even unpleasant to discuss explicitly what homosexuals do sexually with each other, but that information, again, shows how unnatural the act is; lesbians must use artificial devices and males must violate bodily parts meant for other purposes (hence the huge incidence of anal cancer). Even such indirect descriptions seem to violate discretion, but failure to deal with the facts of reality is very helpful to those who want to present the reality as something that it is not. While ‘gay pride’ parades are not typical of homosexual behavior, a quick look at the pictures of such parades will give a flavor of what the ‘gay lifestyle’ celebrates.

Good resources

For good resources about the facts of homosexuality, direct teenagers to the websites for Courage (a support group for homosexuals trying to live a chaste life) and NARTH (National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) and/or hand them the pamphlet ‘Homosexuality and Hope’ available from the Catholic Medical Association or the Our Sunday Visitor pamphlet ‘What the Church Teaches: Same-Sex Marriage.’ In fact, you might donate to such organizations as NARTH or Courage to show your commitment to assisting those with same-sex attractions.

In search of intimacy

Another major reason for the approval of homosexual unions is compassion. Many, if not most, persons with homosexual appetites seem to fear that if they are not permitted to be in homosexual unions they will live lives of miserable, debilitating loneliness. And we must admit that until they learn techniques of healthy relationships, their fears are not completely unfounded. Those with homosexual appetites seem to have a huge relationship wound in their being. They have not received the affirmation of their biological gender that they needed or are wounded in other ways, which drives them to seek intimacy with a person of the same sex, intimacy that becomes sexualized.

I think many of those who experience homosexual appetites have trouble having normal relationships with heterosexual males and females. Many gays report feeling like outsiders around heterosexual males and a sense of longing to be just one of the guys. Nor do they feel normal around females. The more effeminate might tend to think they are ‘one of the girls,’ but they know better. I believe the equivalent is true for lesbians; they, too, feel inferior around heterosexual women and are not ‘one of the guys,’ no matter how masculine they feel and act.

Genuine compassion

I think we have to recognize that the homosexual orientation is a particularly heavy cross. It is not easy to try to give those who experience homosexual appetites the affirmation they need without appearing to approve of their choices in respect to their sexual behavior. Yet that is the approval that they seem to insist upon in order to feel affirmed. We need to affirm them as beloved children of God, while at the same time calling them to reject the homosexual lifestyle; loving them in their dignity, as Jesus did with the woman caught in adultery, while inviting them to abandon their homosexual lifestyle. (We should do the equivalent for heterosexual friends who are fornicating, using pornography, etc.)

Teenagers have big hearts and a strong sense of justice. We should invite our teens to be leaders in showing loving respect to other teens manifesting a homosexual orientation. While making their objection to homosexual actions clear, they should rebuke those who mock homosexual kids and make sure they involve them in social activities. They should try to learn to express their disapproval of homosexual relations with sensitivity and clarity (just as they need to learn to express disapproval for fornication and pornography), while at the same time maintaining respect for those who engage in such activity. We need to let those who experience same-sex attractions know we love them and are sorry for the suffering they experience. They need our friendship, our involvement and our prayers.

Janet E. Smith is the Father Michael J. McGivney Chair of Life Ethics at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit. This article is reprinted courtesy of the author and National Catholic Register.

Spiritual guidance is not exactly a household term of the twenty-first century. Nor is it that familiar among Catholics, forty years after the second Vatican Council made the ‘universal call to holiness’ a keystone of its teaching. Pope John Paul II in his 1988 Apostolic Exhortation Christifideles laici (The Lay Members of Christ’s Faithful People), points out that this call to holiness is not just a ‘moral exhortation’ but a ‘requirement.’

Spiritual guidance can help us live up to this ‘requirement’ and teach us how to become better Christians. Perhaps the best analogy to spiritual guidance is found in the world of sports – coaching. And the kind of coaching done in a sport like tennis or golf is closer to the idea than coaching a team. A beginner might get a lot out of an instruction class, but if you are really into a sport, individual coaching is a lot more important, even if you’re not training for the Olympics.

In the spiritual life it’s the same. As children we may have studied religion in school. In homilies at Mass we are also taught how to improve our spiritual life. The trouble is that, by its nature, this kind of teaching has to be rather general. If it fits the case of a person who very rarely prays, though he may fulfil the basic precept of attending Mass on Sunday, it probably won’t fill the needs of someone who wants to do more, to come closer to Christ. And, by the same token, if it is aimed at people with a more developed spiritual life, it may be discouraging or confusing to a beginner.

This is why individualized coaching is so important for our growth as Christians, just as it would be if we wanted to improve our golf or tennis, or any other skill. No two people are exactly alike. Each has his or her own defects that have to be overcome and his or her own strengths that can be improved and built upon. No two people live in exactly the same family, professional, or social circumstances. Each has particular problems that a spiritual advisor or ‘coach’ can help him or her to overcome.

The saints are people who have been notably successful in their efforts to lead a fully Christian life. They know what they are talking about when it comes to developing a spiritual life, and those among them who have written ‘how to do it’ advice have almost always recommended spiritual guidance. In the following pages, some answers are given to questions that might arise in the mind of someone interested in receiving spiritual guidance.

A two-way street

Spiritual guidance has been defined as the art of leading souls from the very beginning of their spiritual life to the fulfilment of Christian life. It’s a way of providing help in our daily struggle to fulfil the will of God. The definition actually looks at it from the point of view of the one who guides – the spiritual director. But since the objective of this article is to encourage the reader to seek spiritual guidance, it seems more fitting to deal with the subject from the point of view of the person who wishes to receive it, and thus live his or her faith to its fullest. Those who really want to improve in their living of the teachings of Christ will receive God’s grace, and the clear light that comes from a good spiritual director is a great help. But spiritual discretion is a two-way street. The person receiving guidance must be willing, generous and docile or ‘teachable’ (from the Latin word docere – to teach).

If you are a parent, you most likely have already given a lot of spiritual guidance without realizing it: when you talked to your children about God, when you helped them to distinguish between good and evil, when you taught them how to pray, when you taught them how to work and love one another. And the young reader has also given spiritual guidance to his friends, any time that he gave them sincere, Christian advice. That’s a rough idea of what spiritual guidance is. It is having access to Christian wisdom through a person who, through prayer, study and the practice of virtues, is qualified to guide a soul towards sanctity. It is getting to learn the true objectives of life and the hidden obstacles towards the attainment of those ends. It is being encouraged in difficult times, learning to find ways of living the kind of Christian life that God expects from each of us.

Why we need guidance

It’s always hard to be objective when one’s own interests are involved. That’s why we need consultants and experts to guide and advise us: we hire business consultants when management problems arise and we go to the doctor when something ails us. In much the same way, for our spiritual health, we get a spiritual director. If you have a personal interest in a matter, it is difficult not to be biased. That’s why relatives of the plaintiff and defendant are not chosen for juries, and as the Indian poet Tagore said: ‘You do not see yourself as you really are: what you see is a mere shadow.’

Pride, that disordered love of oneself, brings us to justify our mistakes, to seek the easy way out instead of the right way. Pride makes us lenient towards our own defects but stern towards those of others. The heart, then, becomes an accomplice of the mind, and blinds our eyes. But even if our heart were humble and our vision clear, we would still need the help of an adviser because we often don’t know which path we should follow. As St Teresa of Avila used to say: ‘Souls need to open their hearts to someone; every soul needs an outlet.’

The Bible is filled with stories of men and women helping one another in their journey towards God: the friendship between St Raphael and Tobias; those intense conversations of Jesus with his disciples; Nicodemus meeting with Christ to ask his advice; St. Paul, fallen from his horse, being told by our Lord to seek instructions from Ananias.

Having a spiritual director is like having a faithful friend. He reminds us of what we know we should do whenever we begin to dialogue with temptation. He gives us back the smile we lose when our heart is tormented by anguish. With his prayers and upright soul, he strengthens our resolve to fight. God has always wanted it like this. Scripture tells us: ‘A brother who is helped by his brother is like a fortified city’ (Prov. 18:19); and sadly reminds us: ‘Woe to the person who is alone!’

Getting started: choosing a director

A good adviser of souls should have three qualifications. He should be prudent, pious and knowledgeable in the doctrine of the faith. In fact, there is another qualification: he should also respect our freedom.

A prudent director

The prudent person lives fully in the present, learning from the past and looking forward to the future. A good director knows how to listen. He asks questions and thinks things over. At times he won’t immediately try to suggest a solution to your problem; he will need time to study the matter or to get to know you better.

A tendency to compromise is not the same as prudence. Some people tend to find evil in good things and some good in what is evil. But this may simply be an attempt to find an impossible balance between God’s will and our own sinful inclinations. Prudence is not just a matter of moderation either. Moderation should always accompany the moral virtues, but not the theological ones. Faith, hope and charity, the three theological virtues, come from God and have him as their object; moderation does not have a place in these virtues. We can never know God too well, trust in him too fully, or love him excessively.

So, a really prudent spiritual director will be demanding in the pursuit of sanctity. While respecting our freedom and maintaining a balanced prudence in moral judgments, he will be a person who will strongly demand that we root out whatever could possibly offend God. He would gently insist that we be generous in corresponding to God’s infinite generosity.

A pious person

A spiritual director has to be close to God if he is going to be able to truly guide souls. He is a person who prays. To be a good instrument of God, he has to be very united with him. He stands out, without wanting to, because of his frequent prayer before the tabernacle. If he is a priest, his love for the sacrament of Penance is shown by the time he spends in the confessional. We see his loving care in prayers and the liturgy. His piety may be manifested simply by the devout way he makes the sign of the Cross. And since ‘out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks,’ the supernatural tone of his conversation is always a good indication of his love for God.

There are men who talk about God, but do not talk to him as much as they should. A spiritual director who does not talk to God sufficiently, or at all, will tend to talk about ideologies, motivations, neuroses, group tendencies, etc. He will thus only discuss human topics, noble perhaps, but still merely human. Such a person would not make a good director. This is not to say that human topics must be avoided. But spiritual guidance can’t be limited to this. It would then be just small talk with a friend, but not with a real director of our soul. He would not be the ‘good shepherd’ who helps the sheep recognize the voice of God.

A person with good doctrine

To effectively carry out his task, the director has to be securely anchored in the teachings of the Magisterium of the Church. He need not be brilliant, but he must be a man who knows well and with certainty the doctrine of our Christian faith and morals. Nothing is as bad as a ‘blind man leading another blind man’; both will fall into the pit.

Someone who respects your freedom

Spiritual guidance is a task which is both human and supernatural. It should always be given with the greatest respect for the personal freedom of the person being guided. God is the sole owner of the soul, and he has created man with a free will. A director can overdo his task of guiding souls by being coercive, threatening, elitist, and all-knowing, going into areas ‘which God has left to the free discussion of men’ (St Josemaría Escrivá). Spiritual guidance should always be exercised in an atmosphere of true freedom.

Dispositions: what we bring to spiritual guidance

St Josemaría Escrivá often warns of the danger of going to spiritual guidance with the aim of learning something novel, instead of wanting to improve in our spiritual life. From his teachings, I have selected some qualities that will help a person to benefit from spiritual guidance and make progress in his life as a Christian.

Sincerity

His great love for personal freedom and the responsibilities that go with it, moved St Josemaría to insist always on the great need for sincerity. Without sincerity, spiritual guidance (and even our ordinary daily lives) can’t be fruitful.

When we go to spiritual guidance, we should beware of that human tendency to dress the truth up whenever we fear it or dislike it. We should always be alert to fight the temptation to create our own truth. Total openness is necessary for fruitful spiritual guidance. Without this, the director will be doing his task blindly. If we truly want to do the will of God, we should not be afraid of revealing our weaknesses.

Spiritual guidance is of course different from Confession. In the latter, we accuse ourselves of our sins. In the former, we talk about everything: our good works, the joys shared with others; we talk about temptations we have met, our weaknesses, our failures and successes in our struggles. We talk about our fear of really opening up. We reveal the inner recesses of our soul to the director, seeking light, prayer, advice and fortitude in return.

Docility

In recent years ‘docility’ has had a very bad press. It now seems to denote passivity or failure to stand up for one’s rights and seems far from anything like a virtue. But ‘docility’ comes from the Latin verb, docere, which means ‘to teach.’ Thus ‘doctor’ means ‘teacher’ and a ‘docile’ person is one who is teachable. Docility, then, is in no way passive since the act of teaching should be an active one on the parts of both teacher and learner.

Docility to the Holy Spirit is necessary for any progress in the spiritual life, and it’s also important to be docile to the Magisterium of the Church and to one’s spiritual director who can serve an important role as God’s instrument for our growth in sanctity. ‘A great spirit of obedience to a director and a great readiness to respond to grace are required. For if you don’t allow God’s grace and your director to do their work, the sculptured image of Christ, into which the saintly man is shaped, will never appear.’ (The Way, no. 56.)

Humility

To be docile, we first need to be convinced of the need to be taught and guided. Guidance is possible only if we are humble. Sincerity, as stated earlier, can grow only in a climate of true humility. The man who refuses to be taught, formed and corrected – the proud man –avoids all types of guidance, and even the mere appearance of being guided.

Getting started

As with all beginners, doubts and second thoughts make their appearance. ‘I don’t have the time,’ is typical. Then there is laziness which makes you delay, or forego the seeking of spiritual advice. St Josemaría writes: ‘Turn your back on the Deceiver when he whispers in your ear, ‘Why complicate your life?’’ (The Way, no. 6) So, if you are convinced of the value and need to receive spiritual counsel, but feel paralyzed in pushing through with it, listen to those encouraging words of our Lord: ‘Do not be afraid.’ Spiritual guidance is the door that will lead you to a new world that comes from God: ‘Do not fear. It is I.’

Spiritual guidance may complicate one’s life. That’s because it wrenches us out of our complacency, laziness and egoism. However, it brings us down to basics because it gives us a true unity of life. It makes us happy and generous. It moves us to love God our Father more and more each day, and it brings us towards a genuine affection and understanding for all.

The first session with your spiritual director may feel a bit awkward. ‘What do I talk about?’ The simplest approach is just to be sincere about this uncertainty and he will surely be able to help you. In time, topics taken up in one talk will give rise to others which will open up new horizons. As long as you are sincere and try to put into practice what you learn in your talks with your director, you’ll never run out of topics to talk about. Just about anything that happens to us can be a topic in our talks: our spiritual life, temptations, our struggle to be better, our victories and defeats, our aspirations, our joys and sorrows, our work our family, our social life, our apostolate. These can all be brought up in spiritual guidance, not in their secular context, but insofar as they relate to our spiritual life and apostolate. Don’t be afraid of being misunderstood. Those public sinners, friends of Christ – Zacchaeus, the adulteress, the Samaritan woman – had within them the spark of a desire for God. In the same way, your hunger and thirst for God, when given a chance, will help you open your heart sincerely. ‘Courage! You can! Don’t you see what God’s grace did to sleepy, cowardly Peter, who denied him … and to fierce, relentless Paul, who persecuted him?’ (The Way, no. 483).

The practice of spiritual guidance

The following ideas are part of the legacy which St Josemaría has given us through his constant and practical teaching on this subject.

How frequent?

It’s not easy to make a general rule. It depends on the circumstances of both the director and the one seeking guidance. But if it’s going to be effective, the conversations with one’s director should be frequent and regular. Frequency may be anything from weekly to monthly, depending on the particular needs of the one receiving guidance.

Regularity is obviously important. Sporadic talks may give some help, but really important objectives would be hard to achieve. Common experience shows that there is little progress without some kind of regularity. Just as our bodies need regular meals and medical check-ups, so our soul needs to be nourished and checked on a regular basis.

Preparation

An experienced spiritual director once said: ‘In general, the actual duration of one’s session with a director is inversely proportional to the time spent in preparation for that session.’ When we come well-prepared for our chat with our spiritual director, it is usually much more fruitful, brief and supernaturally effective. We can go straight to the point, asking for prayers and advice that we can apply to our life.

Resolutions

Today’s business schools recommend ‘managing by objectives’ and setting targets to achieve. Similarly, in spiritual guidance it’s necessary to frequently review our past resolutions (objectives). These were the steps we had proposed to ourselves in order to attain the goals we are aiming at. Therefore, we should always discuss our resolutions with our director, how they were translated into practice and action. There may have been obstacles and failures, but as long as there has been a real struggle to fulfil one’s resolutions, spiritual guidance will help get us back on the right track. Without this honest effort to fulfil one’s resolutions, spiritual guidance is no more than a waste of time.

Discouragement

At times, difficulties may discourage us, sadness may fill us with self-pity, and temptations may trouble us. This is why God provides us with a spiritual director with whom we can speak openly and confidently, who can calm our spirit and fill it with peace. These conversations restore our supernatural outlook, reorienting our life when necessary, leading it once again towards God.

A plan of spiritual life

Teachers of the spiritual life sometimes use the expression ‘plan of life.’ This term includes all the means and practices which one uses to maintain, restore, and develop one’s supernatural spirit. Among these means are the sacraments, especially the Blessed Eucharist and Penance, spiritual reading, daily examinations of conscience, the Rosary and other Marian acts of love. These, among others, constitute the framework that supports and keeps our spiritual life on course and which should never be absent from the everyday life of a Christian who is trying to live his faith better.

The aim of a plan of life is sanctity. With the help of our spiritual adviser, we can gradually include these acts of love and piety into the routine of our daily life. Our faithfulness in adhering to this plan of life, especially personal prayer and the Mass, which St Josemaría often described as ‘the centre and root of our spiritual life,’ will be a constant source of energy for us. One consequence of spiritual guidance is that we are usually led to paths of self-giving. We become conscious of the demands of Christian charity embodied in the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, which are in themselves a summary of Christian apostolate.

Sincerity

This is more than just not telling lies; there are many ways of not telling the truth. Sincerity means not concealing important information from one who needs to know it; it means not dressing reality up in such a way that evil is hidden behind the flowers. It means not avoiding an embarrassing topic, nor mentioning in an off-handed way something which is actually important. Answering vaguely when a straightforward response is called for is another way of shunting sincerity aside. The devil has an old trick: he makes you talk to your spiritual director only after you’ve solved a problem by yourself. You are made to feel that your director has nothing new to tell you because, after all, you know your own problems better than anybody else.

Determination

The determination to be faithful and to persevere in the practice of spiritual guidance has been, for many souls, an inexhaustible source of God’s grace.

Freedom

Our director is only God’s instrument, not the owner of our soul. His guidance should scrupulously respect our personal freedom and personality. If he ever has to strongly command or forbid something, he should explain that it is not a personal opinion but something commanded or forbidden by our Mother, the Church.

 The Holy Spirit

A spiritual advisor’s role is to back up the three-fold mission of the Holy Spirit in teaching, sanctifying and directing us. Thus he has to be a spiritual doctor, who heals our wounds with divine medicine, a teacher who helps us to know God better, and a good shepherd who shows us the right path to follow.

Conclusion

We will never be able to thank God enough for providing us with this wonderful means to grow and progress in our journey towards our total identification with Christ. Through spiritual guidance we learn to live as sons and daughters of God; we learn to sanctify the realities of everyday life; and we imbue all our actions with a genuine spirit of service. We learn to be happy always, here on earth and finally in heaven.♦

Wonders will never cease! The New York Times has published an article pointing out the risks of cohabitation. Here we were, thinking that there was no downside to contemporary coupling when all the time a slippery slope was opening up.

The popular belief that moving in together before marriage is a good way to avoid divorce is simply not borne out by the facts, warns psychologist Meg Jay.

The cohabitation effect

Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages – and more likely to divorce – than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.

Haven’t we all seen it? Dr Jay cites the case of a client, Jennifer, who lived with her boyfriend for four years and then married. Less than a year later she was looking for a divorce lawyer, dreadfully upset and wondering why the marriage didn’t work. It seems she wanted marriage and, after a few years amassing common property, dogs and friends it was too difficult to break up. Besides, they were then in their early thirties.

That story illustrates the ‘sliding, not deciding’ process that commonly leads to cohabitation in the first place: dating, sleeping over at each other’s place, moving in together because it’s cheaper and more convenient – not because there is a commitment to each other. But set-up and switching costs can be high and it is much more difficult to ‘slide’ out of such a relationship.

Couples bypass talking about why they want to live together and what it will mean. Dr Jay writes:

Note that last sentence. And this:

Well said. Unfortunately, Dr Jay does not take the next step and say, ‘Don’t do it!’ Instead, she says she is neither for nor against cohabitation, which, she believes, is ‘here to stay’. In a piece of advice reminiscent of the ‘safe sex’ mantra which came in with the AIDS era, she suggests that young adults can ‘protect’ their cohabitating relationships from the ‘cohabitation effect’.

It’s important to discuss each person’s motivation and commitment level beforehand and, even better, to view cohabitation as an intentional step toward, rather than a convenient test for, marriage or partnership. It also makes sense to anticipate and regularly evaluate constraints that may keep you from leaving. It’s a pity she could not simply make a plug for marriage, neat. But then, maybe she would not get published in the Times.♦

The original piece, ‘The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage’ by Meg Jay, was published in the New York Times of April 14, 2012.

At the very heart of freedom is freedom of religion – and at the very heart of religious freedom is freedom of conscience. The Irish Government has just published a piece of draft legislation which places a time bomb in this very heart and if the legislation is enacted it will blow a people’s freedom to smithereens.

Is that first assertion too much? No. Every freedom which has been won for mankind, by mankind, over millennia of our history shows that where freedom was truly won it was won essentially in the context of a freedom of religion and the right to freedom and integrity of personal conscience. Freedoms won by forces hostile to religion – the freedoms won by the French Revolution, the freedoms won by the Russian revolution, the Chinese revolution – have invariably ended in tyranny and have never succeeded in establishing authentic freedom until they have recognised the need for freedom of religion and conscience.

Freedom of religion and conscience

In contrast with the tyrannies which emanated from those struggles for freedom you have the greatest freedom of all, that won by Christians through centuries of persecution by the slave-owning and humanly deluded powers of the ancient world. In more modern times you have the great freedom won by the enslaved races of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, a struggle driven above all by a Christian consciousness of injustice. Accepted, history is more nuanced than this, but nevertheless the core truth is undeniable. Without recognition of the inviolability of freedom of religion and freedom of conscience, the pursuit of freedom will be fatally flawed and will promise only tyranny.

The Irish government, seeking to deal with the problem of protecting children from abuse by adults, has now gone down this very path. In its proposed legislation it not only ignores freedom of religion and conscience but directly denies it head-on. It is promising to penalise and imprison any Catholic priest who does not report to the relevant secular authorities a sinful act for which a penitent sinner seeks the forgiveness of God as promised to him, as he believes, by the teaching of Jesus Christ. This is not stated explicitly in the draft but will be the inevitable outcome if the legislation is enacted.

Invading a sacred realm

Ominously the Irish Times reports today,

The Department of Justice was unable to confirm last night whether priests will be legally obliged to report serious offences against children to gardaí (police) that are disclosed during Confession.

That is a lame and disingenuous kicking to touch. This issue has been in focus for several months now and a number of government ministers have gone on record saying that the so-called sacred seal of confession no longer stands as a legal entity. Justice Minister Alan Shatter confirmed the mandatory reporting requirement would apply to priests hearing confession. Some priests have already proclaimed their defiance in defence of the freedom of conscience of those who come to them as penitents.

In doing so the State has effectively invaded a sacred realm of the religion of Christians and has countermanded that power which Christian believers understand to have been given by Christ when he said, ‘Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven; whose sins you shall retain they are retained.’ What the State is proposing not to recognise in this whole matter that while the same act may be both a sin and a crime, these two things that this act may be have to be resolved in separate ways. A Catholic person accused, convicted and condemned to death for murder, innocent or not of that murder may go to confession before his execution. The priest who hears that confession might, by revealing all he had been told by the penitent, redeem his reputation if not save his life. Even to achieve that justice, he may not do so. The two realms are absolutely separate.

By invading this realm of conscience in this way the Irish State has now taken away the freedom of a sinner to get the absolution promised by God because it has radically changed the terms and conditions for that absolution – that is, the secrecy given to the act of confession by the wisdom and teaching of the Catholic Church under the guidance of the Holy Spirit as that sinner’s religious faith leads him to believe.

A penal law

Let there be no doubt about it. This is a draconian law, posturing as a necessary law under the shadow of the crimes of child abuse with which Irish society, among others, has been plagued over forty or fifty years. It is also a bad law, penally hostile to the practice of the religious faith of the majority of the citizens of Ireland. That fact that a draconian executive is not running the country – although some might dispute that – is irrelevant. For nearly 300 years the Roman Empire had penal laws against Christians in place. For most of that time Christians were free to practice their religion but periodically the executive power of the time deemed that they were bad citizens by practising their faith and moved murderously against them. The pattern has been repeated many times throughout history whenever and wherever laws of this type came into being. Ireland beware.♦

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Today, we continue the presentation of the figure of St Jerome. As we said last Wednesday, he dedicated his life to studying the Bible, so much so that he was recognized by my Predecessor, Pope Benedict XV, as ‘an outstanding doctor in the interpretation of Sacred Scripture’. Jerome emphasized the joy and importance of being familiar with biblical texts:

Does one not seem to dwell, already here on earth, in the Kingdom of Heaven when one lives with these texts, when one meditates on them, when one does not know or seek anything else? (Ep. 53, 10).

In reality, to dialogue with God, with his Word, is in a certain sense a presence of Heaven, a presence of God. To draw near to the biblical texts, above all the New Testament, is essential for the believer, because ‘ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ’. This is his famous phrase, cited also by the Second Vatican Council in the Constitution Dei verbum (n. 25).

A passionate love for Scripture

Truly ‘in love’ with the Word of God, he asked himself: ‘How could one live without the knowledge of Scripture, through which one learns to know Christ himself, who is the life of believers?’ (Ep. 30, 7). The Bible, an instrument ‘by which God speaks every day to the faithful’ (Ep. 133, 13), thus becomes a stimulus and source of Christian life for all situations and for each person. To read Scripture is to converse with God: ‘If you pray’, he writes to a young Roman noblewoman, ‘you speak with the Spouse; if you read, it is he who speaks to you’ (Ep. 22, 25). The study of and meditation on Scripture renders man wise and serene (cf. In Eph., Prol.). Certainly, to penetrate the Word of God ever more profoundly, a constant and progressive application is needed. Hence, Jerome recommends to the priest Nepotian: ‘Read the divine Scriptures frequently; rather, may your hands never set the Holy Book down. Learn here what you must teach’ (Ep. 52, 7). To the Roman matron Leta he gave this counsel for the Christian education of her daughter:

Ensure that each day she studies some Scripture passage…. After prayer, reading should follow, and after reading, prayer…. Instead of jewels and silk clothing, may she love the divine Books’ (Ep. 107, 9, 12).

Through meditation on and knowledge of the Scriptures, one ‘maintains the equilibrium of the soul’ (Ad Eph., Prol.). Only a profound spirit of prayer and the Holy Spirit’s help can introduce us to understanding the Bible: ‘In the interpretation of Sacred Scripture we always need the help of the Holy Spirit’ (In Mich. 1, 1, 10, 15).

A passionate love for Scripture therefore pervaded Jerome’s whole life, a love that he always sought to deepen in the faithful, too. He recommends to one of his spiritual daughters:

Love Sacred Scripture and wisdom will love you; love it tenderly, and it will protect you; honour it and you will receive its caresses. May it be for you as your necklaces and your earrings (Ep. 130, 20).

And again: ‘Love the science of Scripture, and you will not love the vices of the flesh’ (Ep. 125, 11).

The voice of the pilgrim people

For Jerome, a fundamental criterion of the method for interpreting the Scriptures was harmony with the Church’s Magisterium. We should never read Scripture alone because we meet too many closed doors and could easily slip into error. The Bible has been written by the People of God and for the People of God under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Only in this communion with the People of God do we truly enter into the ‘we’, into the nucleus of the truth that God himself wants to tell us. For him, an authentic interpretation of the Bible must always be in harmonious accord with the faith of the Catholic Church. It is not a question of an exegesis imposed on this Book from without; the Book is really the voice of the pilgrim People of God and only in the faith of this People are we ‘correctly attuned’ to understand Sacred Scripture. Therefore, Jerome admonishes:

Remain firmly attached to the traditional doctrine that you have been taught, so that you can preach according to right doctrine and refute those who contradict it (Ep. 52, 7).

In particular, given that Jesus Christ founded his Church on Peter, every Christian, he concludes, must be in communion ‘with St Peter’s See. I know that on this rock the Church is built’ (Ep. 15, 2). Consequently, without equivocation, he declared: ‘I am with whoever is united to the teaching of St Peter’ (Ep. 16).

Harmony of mind and voice

Obviously, Jerome does not neglect the ethical aspect. Indeed, he often recalls the duty to harmonize one’s life with the divine Word, and only by living it does one also find the capacity to understand it. This consistency is indispensable for every Christian, and particularly for the preacher, so that his actions may never contradict his discourses nor be an embarrassment to him. Thus, he exhorts the priest Nepotian:

May your actions never be unworthy of your words, may it not happen that, when you preach in church, someone might say to himself: ‘Why does he therefore not act like this?’. How could a teacher, on a full stomach, discuss fasting; even a thief can blame avarice; but in the priest of Christ the mind and words must harmonize (Ep. 52, 7).

In another Epistle Jerome repeats: ‘Even if we possess a splendid doctrine, the person who feels condemned by his own conscience remains disgraced’ (Ep. 127, 4). Also on the theme of consistency he observes: the Gospel must translate into truly charitable behaviour, because in each human being the Person of Christ himself is present. For example, addressing the presbyter Paulinus (who then became Bishop of Nola and a Saint), Jerome counsels:

The true temple of Christ is the soul of the faithful: adorn it and beautify this shrine, place your offerings in it and receive Christ. What is the use of decorating the walls with precious stones if Christ dies of hunger in the person of the poor? (Ep. 58, 7).

Jerome concretizes the need ‘to clothe Christ in the poor, to visit him in the suffering, to nourish him in the hungry, to house him in the homeless’ (Ep. 130, 14). The love of Christ, nourished with study and meditation, makes us rise above every difficulty: ‘Let us also love Jesus Christ, always seeking union with him: then even what is difficult will seem easy to us’ (Ep. 22, 40).

Ascesis and pilgrimage

Prosper of Aquitaine, who defined Jerome as a ‘model of conduct and teacher of the human race’ (Carmen de ingratis, 57), also left us a rich and varied teaching on Christian asceticism. He reminds us that a courageous commitment towards perfection requires constant vigilance, frequent mortifications, even if with moderation and prudence, and assiduous intellectual and manual labour to avoid idleness (cf. Epp. 125, 11; 130, 15), and above all obedience to God: ‘Nothing … pleases God as much as obedience …, which is the most excellent and sole virtue’ (Hom. de Oboedientia: CCL 78, 552). The practice of pilgrimage can also be part of the ascetical journey. In particular, Jerome promoted pilgrimages to the Holy Land, where pilgrims were welcomed and housed in the lodgings that were built next to the monastery of Bethlehem, thanks to the generosity of the noblewoman Paula, a spiritual daughter of Jerome (cf. Ep. 108, 14).

Educate through example more than words

Lastly, one cannot remain silent about the importance that Jerome gave to the matter of Christian pedagogy (cf. Epp. 107; 128). He proposed to form ‘one soul that must become the temple of the Lord’ (Ep. 107, 4), a ‘very precious gem’ in the eyes of God (Ep. 107, 13). With profound intuition he advises to preserve oneself from evil and from the occasions of sin, and to exclude equivocal or dissipating friendships (cf. Ep. 107, 4, 8-9; also Ep. 128, 3-4). Above all, he exhorts parents to create a serene and joyful environment around their children, to stimulate them to study and work also through praise and emulation (cf. Epp. 107, 4; 128, 1), encouraging them to overcome difficulties, foster good habits and avoid picking up bad habits, so that, and here he cites a phrase of Publius Siro which he heard at school: ‘it will be difficult for you to correct those things to which you are quietly habituating yourself’ (Ep. 107, 8). Parents are the principal educators of their children, the first teachers of life. With great clarity Jerome, addressing a young girl’s mother and then mentioning her father, admonishes, almost expressing a fundamental duty of every human creature who comes into existence:

May she find in you her teacher, and may she look to you with the inexperienced wonder of childhood. Neither in you, nor in her father should she ever see behaviour that could lead to sin, as it could be copied. Remember that … you can educate her more by example than with words (Ep. 107, 9).

Among Jerome’s principal intuitions as a pedagogue, one must emphasize the importance he attributed to a healthy and integral education beginning from early childhood, the particular responsibility belonging to parents, the urgency of a serious moral and religious formation and the duty to study for a more complete human formation. Moreover, an aspect rather disregarded in ancient times but held vital by our author is the promotion of the woman, to whom he recognizes the right to a complete formation: human, scholastic, religious, professional. We see precisely today how the education of the personality in its totality, the education to responsibility before God and man, is the true condition of all progress, all peace, all reconciliation and the exclusion of violence. Education before God and man: it is Sacred Scripture that offers us the guide for education and thus of true humanism.

Conclusion

We cannot conclude these quick notes on the great Father of the Church without mentioning his effective contribution to safeguarding the positive and valid elements of the ancient Hebrew, Greek and Roman cultures for nascent Christian civilization. Jerome recognized and assimilated the artistic values of the richness of the sentiments and the harmony of the images present in the classics, which educate the heart and fantasy to noble sentiments. Above all, he put at the centre of his life and activity the Word of God, which indicates the path of life to man and reveals the secrets of holiness to him. We cannot fail to be deeply grateful for all of this, even in our day.♦

I was requested by certain of the brethren not long ago to reply to a pamphlet written by one Helvidius. I have deferred doing so, not because it is a difficult matter to maintain the truth and refute an ignorant boor who has scarce known the first glimmer of learning, but because I was afraid my reply might make him appear worth defeating. There was the further consideration that a turbulent fellow, the only individual in the world who thinks himself both priest and layman, one who, as has been said, thinks that eloquence consists in loquacity and considers speaking ill of anyone to be the witness of a good conscience, would begin to blaspheme worse than ever if opportunity of discussion were afforded him. He would stand as it were on a pedestal, and would publish his views far and wide. There was reason also to fear that when truth failed him he would assail his opponents with the weapon of abuse. But all these motives for silence, though just, have more justly ceased to influence me, because of the scandal caused to the brethren who were disguised at his ravings. The axe of the Gospel must therefore be now laid to the root of the barren tree, and both it and its fruitless foliage cast into the fire, so that Helvidius who has never learnt to speak, may at length learn to hold his tongue.

I must call upon the Holy Spirit to express His meaning by my mouth and defend the virginity of the Blessed Mary. I must call upon the Lord Jesus to guard the sacred lodging of the womb in which He abode for ten months from all suspicion of sexual intercourse. And I must also entreat God the Father to show that the mother of His Son, who was a mother before she was a bride, continued a Virgin after her son was born. We have no desire to career over the fields of eloquence, we do not resort to the snares of the logicians or the thickets of Aristotle. We shall adduce the actual words of Scripture. Let him be refuted by the same proofs which he employed against us, so that he may see that it was possible for him to read what is written, and yet to be unable to discern the established conclusion of a sound faith.♦

Ireland’s latest storm

This week I couldn’t but think of those winds buffeting the faithful as here in Ireland we were launched into the latest storm; in this case centred on whether Ireland’s Primate, Cardinal Seán Brady, should or should not resign on foot of assertions that he should have done more to protect children from a serial child-abuser. This unleashed the by now all too familiar blitz of often trenchantly expressed opinions on the issue. After some weeks this matter will cede to its successor story, assertions will be made and the voice of outraged opinion will be raised again.

Of course at times traumatic stories come to light and public opinion is justly inflamed. But we are no less proof against manipulation in the third millennium than were the Ephesians of the first century. Paul’s warning to the Ephesians holds good for us today. His advice? We must ‘speak truth in love’: veritas in caritate (Eph 4, 15). This phrase has become the motto of schools and universities around the world, as well as the title of Pope Benedict’s third encyclical letter. It has also been a guiding principle for Christian communications throughout the centuries. But this ‘caritate’ is not a mushy love, but one firmly rooted in the fundamental – or cardinal – human virtues of prudence, temperance, justice and fortitude. Wherever we fail to exercise one or other of these virtues, love is damaged. These four cardinal virtues should serve to anchor us in these public opinion ‘storms’.

Prudence

A recent report into the RTÉ Prime Time Investigates pro-gramme that libelled Fr Kevin Reynolds asserted that a ‘groupthink’ mentality underlay the unjust assumptions made against the slandered priest by the production team. ‘Groupthink’ is much the same as ‘nothink’ insofar as the individual relinquishes their capacity to reflect on the facts and relies on what is a prejudice in the strict sense of the term. The missing virtue here was that of ‘prudence’. This is the virtue which makes a man look before he leaps (or think before he talks, prints or broadcasts). ‘The prudent man looks where he is going’ is how the Book of Proverbs puts it (Prov 14:15). Our own intelligence has to be first port of call; basic common sense would tell any reasonably mature person that you cannot make a judgment upon hearing one side of the story or in the words of Aesop: ‘Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either.’ And where the ramifications of what we will assert may well destroy a man’s life that investigation has to be thorough in the extreme. Otherwise we may fall into the sins of rash judgment, detraction or calumny, neatly expained by the Catechism of the Catholic Church as follows:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.

He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;

- of calumny who, by re-marks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

Temperance

This virtue in the Greek is sophronesis, which literally means the ‘safeguard of prudence’ gives us moderation, and control over our passions. This virtue gets special mention in the Catechism of the Catholic Church in connection with the mass media:

2496 The means of social communication (especially the mass media) can give rise to a certain passivity among users, making them less than vigilant consumers of what is said or shown. Users should practice moderation and discipline in their approach to the mass media. They will want to form enlightened and correct consciences the more easily to resist unwholesome influences. (Italics mine)

In other words, a couch potato cannot expect that his opinions will be correctly formed; an enlightened conscience requires work.

Temperance also comes into play in moderating our reactions to what we hear. In contemporary culture outrage has been given a special extra-rational status. Overwhelming emotion, especially that of anger, appears often to exempt a panelist on a TV programme for example, from giving a rational justification for their position.

Justice

Justice, the desire to grant each person their rights, leads us in public debate to act respectfully towards a person though we may fundamentally disagree with their position.

The Medieval scholastic tradition had the very admirable practice of demanding that opposing sides in a debate would sum up as accurately as possible the opposing position before proceeding to attack it. When do we ever see this in public discourse? This practice of really seeking to understand fully the opponent’s position should be the mark of a Christian in particular, as the Catechism outlines:

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.

Fortitude

Finally, strength of character – the virtue of fortitude – is required to hold to a position which one believes true regardless of whether it is fashionable or not. In the recent calls from a succession of politicians for the resignation of Cardinal Seán Brady a number of commentators saw a sheep-like conformity, a very unattractive lack of spine. Complete political uniformity in matters which are opinable (in the Cardinal Seán Brady case whether a man who didn’t go above and beyond the call of duty should be held to account) is a little too reminiscent of Soviet politics to inspire confidence. Compare that with the wonderful fortitude of the great of patron of statesmen, politicians and lawyers, St Thomas More who gave his life rather than deny his Catholic Faith. A famous prayer of his could certainly be useful in these ‘windy’ times. It runs as follows:

Cover story

This month’s cover story is ‘In defence of the family’ and we have three pieces on the topic: a piece from MercatorNet about the risks of cohabitation, based, mirabile dictu, on a very revealing piece that appeared in the New York Times. Prof. Janet Smith writes on the topic of homosexuality with some very practical pointers particularly for parents whose children may have a homosexual orientation. And Siobhan Scullion writes about the Family Enrichment courses which are organised by the International Federation for Family Development (IFFD), here in Ireland as well as elsewhere.♦